The Kübler-Ross Change Model
Why change touches us so deeply — and what the model still offers today for personal, people, and organizational development
When we talk about change, we often act as if it were a purely rational process. A new tool, a new structure, a new goal: announce it, implement it — and it should just work. But anyone who leads or supports people knows: that's not how it works. Change is an emotional process. This is where Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's model comes in, originally rooted in research on dying and later becoming one of the most influential models in change management.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a psychiatrist and pioneer of modern research on dying. In the 1960s, she conducted hundreds of conversations with dying people. She wanted to understand how people cope with existential ruptures — with the loss of control, security, identity. From these conversations, she developed the famous five stages of dying, which were later expanded to seven stages.
What's interesting is that although the model originated in an extreme context, it quickly became clear that people go through similar emotional patterns when confronted with any kind of major change — whether in their personal life or at work. That's why the model was carried over into the world of change management and is now one of the classics of organizational development.
An Example in Practice
To make the model tangible, let's follow one person through a concrete change: a mid-sized company introduces a new AI-powered planning tool. It replaces many manual processes and changes roles, routines, and responsibilities. Our example is Anna, a team lead with ten years at the company.
Let's look at how Anna moves through the seven stages — and what that reveals about the human side of change.
The Seven Stages of the Kübler-Ross Model
1: Shock · 2: Denial · 3: Anger · 4: Bargaining · 5: Depression · 6: Acceptance · 7: Integration
How Anna Experiences the Stages
Shock
When management announces the new AI tool, it catches Anna off guard. She'd heard rumors, but hadn't expected the change to be this sweeping. A brief moment of paralysis sets in. This is exactly what Kübler-Ross describes: the nervous system trying to make sense of reality before it can react.
Denial
In the days that follow, Anna tells herself that “hardly anything will change for her team.” She believes the tool might remain just a pilot project, or that the rollout will be postponed. Denial is a protective mechanism — it keeps emotional overwhelm at a distance.
Anger
When it becomes clear that the rollout is mandatory and her existing processes really will disappear, anger rises. Anna feels overlooked, insufficiently informed, perhaps even threatened. Anger is a form of energy searching for direction. It shows that the change is beginning to emotionally “sink in.”
Bargaining
Anna starts wrestling with the situation. She wonders whether she can keep certain tasks, whether there are exceptions, whether the tool could be rolled out more slowly. This inner bargaining is an attempt to regain control. It's a transition between resistance and approach.
Depression
When it becomes clear that there will be no exceptions, Anna sinks into an emotional low. She feels exhausted, doubts her abilities, and wonders whether she's still needed in the new structure. This stage is painful but central: it marks the letting go of the old.
Acceptance
After some training, a few early wins, and conversations with colleagues, Anna begins to understand that the tool isn't her enemy. She starts to see benefits. Acceptance doesn't mean enthusiasm — it means the willingness to engage with the new.
Integration
A few months later, Anna uses the tool as a matter of course. She has developed new routines, recognizes efficiency gains, and actively helps shape improvements. The change is no longer “something that happens to her,” but something she helps create.
Why Is Change So Hard for Us?
The model shows vividly that change is not a linear, rational process. In change, people always lose something: security, routines, status, a sense of competence, belonging. The nervous system responds with protective patterns. Kübler-Ross makes visible that resistance isn't a sign of unwillingness, but a sign of being human.
Particularly striking is the depression stage, often called the “valley of tears” in change management. It marks the emotional low point: the old is no longer viable, the new isn't yet tangible. In this stage, people feel disoriented, exhausted, or resigned. Anna, our example, experiences this moment too: she doubts her role, the point of the change, and her own competence. It's precisely here that it's decided whether a change is truly absorbed or stays on the surface.
The “valley of tears” is not a failure, but a necessary transition. It shows that the change has landed emotionally. Whoever moves through this point — individually or as a team — has the chance to truly engage with what's new. This is where leaders and change facilitators are especially called on to support their teams through this stage: with presence, communication and feedback, motivation, understanding, and space for honest emotions.
Change challenges us because it touches identity. It forces us to reorient ourselves, redefine ourselves, and confront uncertainty. That takes time, emotional support, and space for reflection.
What the Model Offers Today for Personal, People, and Organizational Development
In personal development, the model helps us understand our own emotional reactions instead of judging them. It creates self-compassion and orientation during periods of transition.
In people development, it helps leaders recognize the emotional dynamics within their teams. Knowing that anger or denial are normal reactions allows for more empathetic leadership and better support through change.
In organizational development, the model serves as a map. It shows that change doesn't succeed through PowerPoint slides, but through genuinely accompanying emotional processes. Companies that understand this shape change more sustainably, more humanely, and more successfully.
Are you facing a change yourself — as a leader, a team, or an organization?
With the mindshift, I support people, teams, and companies in shaping this process consciously, effectively, and empathetically. Whether in workshops, development programs, or one-on-one support: we create spaces where resistance is understood, potential is uncovered, and real integration becomes possible.
Let's shape change together. Consciously.
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